Bonjour, J'ai un discours à rédiger en Anglais. Il s'agit de développer deux points afin de convaincre une université américaine d'examiner ma demande d'inscrip

Bonjour, J'ai un discours à rédiger en Anglais. Il s'agit de développer deux points afin de convaincre une université américaine d'examiner ma demande d'inscription. Voici les deux points :

1. “How I think attending an American university can contribute to my self-fulfilment.”
2. “Why I think this university should consider my application.”

Mon discours :

Hello, My name is XXXXXX.
Today, the University is an open door to many people. And it is also a privilege, which I have the chance to benefit. Nevertheless, I am aware that this privilege requires the will, and that it must work with motivation to deserve. That is why, in this talk, I would like to develop two important points in the review of my file. First of all, I believe that the American University will contribute to my personal development. Indeed, attend University, is a dynamic environment. Any educational environment, including the University, must be dynamic to generate joy to learn and understand human beings and things, but also to stimulate the desire to exploit its own personal abilities and use them. The University is therefore an example in this respect. In addition, it has a very good advantage: intercommunication. One constant exchange with others is essential in personal development. Actually, the University allows to exchange information with others, understand and this contributes to a harmonious confidence, and especially personal enrichment. This Exchange also promotes the motivation, the construction of objectives taking into account other, and contributes so much to form in his future professional life. On the other hand, the University was described, according to an American philosopher, such an association of men trained to solve theoretical problems which may arise in the development of civilization. Thus, it goes further to enrich students. It is also one of the keys to future solutions to human civilization.
The University is therefore the key to personal fulfilment. Now, I think it is important that you understand why, from my point of view, you should consider my application. As said earlier, I consider the University as a privilege, but I am also aware of the efforts that it requires. I therefore believe that it is essential to be motivated and have the will to make efforts in this direction. In addition, I have the real will to learn new things, and take pleasure. And for me the University can generate this pleasure, because there is an Exchange with others. In addition, the University allows to build targets to develop his personal reflections, and thus mature internally. It will allow me to develop self-control, a confidence in myself, and listen to others. All these advantages me motivate, and contribute to make me want to invest myself fully to succeed.

Thank you for listening to me.

Merci infiniment de vos corrections. J'ai vraiment besoin de votre aide !!